Comments for Real Mums

Comment on Things really are looking bad – Mother Guilt by Taryn @ Life's Juggling Act

Taryn @ Life's Juggling Act — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 12:05:46 +0000

Little arse-hats… I love that description! How did we go from ‘children should be seen and not heard’ to what we have today?

And the million dollar question (in my life at least) is why am I buying into it?! I guess with my first about to turn 1 i have a hope of learning to feel less guilty over time!

Comment on Things really are looking bad – Mother Guilt by B-Linda

B-Linda — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 07:00:38 +0000

I so love being told by so called experts how to raise my children. What I love even more is the fact that they change their mind on what is recommended more often then my 4 year old changes her clothes! This week it is one thing and next week it is something totally different! At the end of the day I reckon that you can’t please everyone so you may as well please yourself! And you know what? If my kids end up in therapy cause I decided to change my hair colour, go back to uni and get my nails done then so be it … Have a can of concrete and toughen up princess! It’s called Life and While I am only too happy to share it with my children (otherwise I wouldn’t have had them.. Derr!) I certainly don’t believe that I need to give everything I have …. I am certainly no good to them in a mental institution and I can assure you that’s where I would end up!

Comment on Things really are looking bad – Mother Guilt by Mad Cow

Mad Cow — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 05:52:51 +0000

I blogged about that last week, Dorothy – it’s Elisabeth Badinter’s book, The Conflict, that that “French theory” comes from.

I don’t believe we are “taught” that children come first. I believe we have it shoved down our throats on a more than daily basis, and including the words “psychologica damange in the future” and all other manner of “damage” we are doing to our children if we don’t “put them first”.

Even that term, for me, is relative … taking time out for me IS putting them first, cos the option is a wrist slitting, even if they do have to wait half an hour for a vegemite sandwich.

We are guilted and cajoled and taunted into “putting our children first”, we a ridiculed, ostracised and sworn at if we are seen to be doing anyting that SOMEONE ELSE perceives is not putting them first.

It is scaring me.

Comment on The 5 Hardest Things You’ll Ever Have To Do As A Mum by Mad Cow

Mad Cow — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 05:46:50 +0000

Yep, give it time …

Comment on The 5 Hardest Things You’ll Ever Have To Do As A Mum by Young Mum

Young Mum — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 05:42:14 +0000

I have pretty much done most of the things on this list, except 3 and 5…. He’s only 2 so give it time….

Comment on Be a woman first? You selfish cow! by Renee

Renee — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 01:37:04 +0000

I ALWAYS said to my clients “You must put yourself first when you are a parent” this was before I had kids therefore I was the perfect parent, haha. Not so easy once you have them but I find as they get older its easier to find “you” time again and it is crucial. Not just for our sanity but as role models as well and I really do not enjoy doting on my children.

Comment on Things really are looking bad – Mother Guilt by Kim

Kim — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 01:16:51 +0000

Dorothy, I must be French! Cause that’s what I do…I am not good at playing little kid games. I am happy to engage when he requests my attention but I don’t think he needs me at him all day trying to teach him something. And I can say that he plays happily most of the time and comes to me when he needs my help, is hungry or just plain wants a tickle or cuddle.

Do I feel guilty? Sometimes and that’s when I get down on the floor and play blocks or sing songs or we go for a walk – whatever!

I, like MC, refuse to feel guilty for the way I parent. I do what is best for me and my sons and I really could care less what others think. They are happy, healthy, smart boys and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Comment on Things really are looking bad – Mother Guilt by Dorothy @ Singular Insanity

Dorothy @ Singular Insanity — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 00:35:57 +0000

I read a great article somewhere last week, might have been “BlogHer” about how French mothers parent. The significant difference was that the French teach their children patience and independence. They believe that children need to learn to play by themselves and to wait for things, such as their parents’ attention. I loved this, because here we are taught that children always come first and that we must always be at their beck and call. No wonder, so many of them are such little arse-hats and so many of us feel so guilty, so much of the time…

Comment on 10 Things You Lose During the After Birth by georgia oneill

georgia oneill — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 00:19:31 +0000

Love it! I still take great delight in swearing, even in front of my children. I tell my husband if swearing is the worst thing they are going to do then we’re OK. If they do end up as drug-addled crack whores then swearing is the least of our worries.

Comment on Monique Angel by christabel

christabel — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 04:21:00 +0000

Thank you for sharing your story, …Monique’s story…
I like your scar analogy. I wouldn’t choose the pain I have had in my life but then I would also not wish to totally lose the scars. Would that mean losing the good that came before? Denying the hopes that had been…?

Namaste (the divine in me recognises the divine in you)